12 Favorite Problems (2025)
Creative
How can I design a best-in-class, delightful trips for my clients?
How can I write cheeky-but-informative travel content that people want to read?
How can I build a business where I can collaborate with, build with and amplify my friends?
Family
How can I raise my children to always want to come home?
How can I raise resilient kids?
How can my family be the hub and host for community and fun in real life?
Lifestyle
How can I design my life so I can #takeyourkidseverywhere
How can I build a robust network of smart, talented, empathetic, change-makers that make me feel energized?
How can I build systems in my life that encourage serendipity?
How can I create a life that puts me in a regular, and consistent state of Kairos?
Tangential
How can I help people with their relationship communication?
How can I help solve the problem of inequality in education?
The Baby Gear Post
This is my comprehensive, all-encompassing, slightly intimidating list of all the baby gear I’ve recommended to some 100+ mamas-to-be. I figured I could make a post and link it out to people rather than the copy-paste-email routine I’ve been doing. All of these recommendations are from my personal experience, and since every family is different, I think this list works best as a jumping off point to think about what YOU need. Feel free to always ping me with questions, I love to be a resource!
A couple of things:
I’m a maximizer in the arena of gear. I love to deep dive into product research, delighting in understanding variations and reviews.
Before becoming a mom my rubric for choosing gear was aesthetic and also a bit minimalist. After becoming a mom, my rubric is more about maximizing for comfort and ease (for mom, for baby). This list is a bit of both!
This list is meant for pregnancy/hospital stay and 0-12 months.
HOSPITAL STAY
A few caveats—I delivered at Columbia Presbyterian in NYC, which is a renowned hospital in terms of care (and has the top level NICU in the state, which was important to me as our first came 5 weeks early), however, it’s not renowned for its amenities, like say Greenwich Hospital in CT, which I hear has a delicious surf and turf after-birth menu option. Hence my recommendations for things like pillows and towels as they were ahem, BARE BONES at Columbia, but I bet not so bad at other hospitals.
1. Hair ties
2. Chapstick
3. Snacks for partner—you won't be able to eat anything, boo.
4. Sweatpants + yoga pants (I wanted something tighter fit to hold everything in, but you don't know so bring both), tank top, zip up hoodie or cardigan (make sure it's open in the front for nursing).
5. Pillow and towel—what they give you is BULLSHIT and I wished I had a decent pillow and a non scratchy towel the whole time.
6. Deodorant and toiletries for you and your partner.
7. Partner change of clothes (I mean we didn't pack a bag at all, but I would have forgotten this).
8. Nursing bra + nipple cream (get a nursing bra close to the end, them boobs keep growing). Recommendations down below.
9. The MOM WASHER (if you have a vaginal birth). It is a miracle worker, and so much better than what they give you.
10. Couple of long sleeve onesies/pants for baby. Get a newborn size, and a 0-3 months size, one of those should be fine. They will give baby a hat! See clothing brand recommendations for below.
11. Pen + big envelope for paperwork—they give you a lot of it.
12. Phone + charger (preferably with a long cord, the outlets aren't always convenient).
13. A hip belt or a belly belt—I had both and wore both and man it was great. My back was wrecked and my hips were loose, these were game changers.
14. A robe. Nice to have over the hospital gown.
15. Slippers/flip flops/socks. Those hospital floors aren't meant for bare feet.
16. Baby carseat—although your partner can go home and get it later, you will have to stay for at least two nights (three for a c-section)— and they won't let you leave without one!
Notes:
Make sure your partner is ready to take your first photo—my husband was shell-shocked and the doc had to be like, get your phone out! HA. I love that photo of baby and me, that first moment.
TAKE FROM HOSPITAL
1. Mesh underwear that they give you (take all the extras)
2. Pads—line these with witch hazel or tucks pads (they will make you ones filled with ice if you ask —OMG YES GREAT).
3. Whatever the lactation people will hand over to you—bottles, pump parts, that pink bucket to wash things, the soap to wash things.
4. The witch hazel pads.
5. The numbing spray they give you. TAKE IT ALL.
Notes:
Remember to ask all your questions and write everything down! They will also want you to have a pediatrician (and an appointment for the baby with that pediatrician before you leave the hospital), so be prepared for that! This is also when you will file the paperwork for baby’s social security information.
HAVE AT HOME FOR YOUR RETURN
*Spoiler, if you have a vaginal birth, it will stop hurting pretty quick, a couple of days, but you will bleed/have discharge for at least six weeks (mine went closer to twelve).
1. Bigger pads (I hate the winged kind, but do you)—you can't wear tampons for a long while (and I didn't want to for a long time—but I didn't get my period for at least six months).
2. Smaller pads (again, no wings for me)
3. Panty liners
4. Tucks medicated pads
5. Witch hazel spray
6. ibuprofen (I was also prescribed iron, which I picked up at CVS)
Notes:
I felt physically much better (like wanting to take long walks etc) after about six weeks. And then every month after that I felt even better. Six months was when I felt a lot better, and baby was also sleeping more, so that was helpful too. Remember, once the placenta detaches and delivers, it leaves a dinner-plate size wound on the inside of your uterus, so give yourself some grace and rest here. Also, how metal is it that the female human body creates not only a whole person, but a whole organ and then just discards it!
BREASTFEEDING
1. A pump
Definitely have your doctor "prescribe" a pump. For my first, I got the pump in style from Medela, with the bag. It was fine. Pumps aren't super fun, but necessary if you ever want to go anywhere away from your baby for more than 2-3 hours. Order this soonish. I also got the Spectra, which I liked better, and for my second I got the Elvie, which I LOVED SO MUCH, especially if you're going to be pumping at work.
2. Nursing bra for pump - if you don't get the Elvie, get a nursing bra that fits the pump shields. Trust me on this one. I left mine at home for a trip out of town and regretted it the whole time!
3. Nursing bras: I love the Bravado Nursing bra. I have two of those, plus some cheap ones from Amazon.
4. That Boon Grass thing. For real. Need it to dry out all the pump parts and bottles. We still use this for their sippy cups!
5. Burp clothes. Our first was a freakishly strong stomached baby. He literally never spit up. He's thrown up maybe three times in his whole life. This is not normal, as I found out with my second, who still has a more hair trigger gag reflex, so I suggest you have a few burp clothes around!
6. Nipple cream. My nipples were never sore or cracked or anything, but I don't think that is normal either, so have some on hand. Also the lactation nurses will give you some samples.
7. Freezer bags for extra milk. Again, pumping is a must if you want to leave the baby. So pump and freeze. I wrote the date and the ounces on the top and stored in the back of the freezer. Good for 3-6 months that way. There's also these Milkies ice cube trays, which I got for baby #2, for ease to put in the bottles! They were awesome!
8. Haakka. Got this for baby #2, and it was amazing. Collected milk from the non-nursing boob, and was able to get so many ounces without pumping (poured them right into the Milkies tray (above) and it was great!.
Skip:
Nursing pillow—I thought this was wack AF. I hated it and didn't use one at all!
Nursing pads—I never ever used these, my boobs didn't leak. Maybe get them later if you need them? I've heard that wool is the way to go here though.
Notes: With my first It took us a solid nine weeks to nurse without nursing shields. It can take a while—i.e. a couple of months to feel solid with this, so don't give up easily on it (unless it's super hard, then QUIT!), and don't hesitate to reach to a lactation consultant! For contrast, with my second, she had a perfect latch from minute one, so YMMV!
Also. I only purchased a few things that were "nursing" clothes. For the most part I just wore tanks (no bra) or button up tops and pants/shorts. You will not be able to wear dresses! Unless you buy nursing dresses—which I did not do. I purchased this tank, and this hoodie - which is what I would wear on the plane to nurse them.
BABY GEAR
1. Pacis: Neither of my babies took to one, but some babies love them. Try the WubbaNubs ones with the animals, and the Natursutten ones. Also, I learned way after it was too late that you have to teach babies to like pacifiers—who knew?
2. Teether: Comotomo Baby Teether We would freeze this guy and they both loved it for a while. They start teething as soon as four months, so don't wait too long on these.
3. Mesh Teether: They honestly STILL LOVE these, we fill them with frozen fruit and they still squeals with glee every time.
4. Travel Crib. We have the Guava Family one, and LOVE it. It has been to CA, FL, Chicago, Maine, upstate, etc. We also have the sunshade, and the mosquito net. Not worth getting the rocking infant upgrade (we have it, only good for like four months, don't do it).
5. DockATot - It is great for a couple of months, and some babies LOVE it, but honestly we didn't use ours very much. Not a must for us, but maybe you want it. It’s best for being able to put a baby down next to you wherever you are.
6. A swing or the mamaRoo. Do not fight this one, like we did. Get something that moves the baby on its own. We broke down and got a swing and our first LOVED it. For our second we got the MamaRoo, because it's smaller than the swing which we gave away last time when we moved.
7. Carseat. We love the Nuna Rava, and the Uppa Baby one, and so do the other people that I know that have one. You can get a base for it, but it goes in a car without a base as well. You have to have one of these to leave the hospital!
8. Stroller. Note: they can't sit up in one of these until 6 months, so either they need to be in their car seat (get one that your car seat fits into), or the stroller needs to have the option to lay flat. Note, you can really dive down into a stroller rabbit hole here, there are so many options—we’ve gone through about six ourselves, and here’s my favorites:
Cybex Priam which JUST came out with a double option called the Gazelle. We sold our Priam when we needed to upgrade to a double and got the Uppa Baby —if I was having my first now I’d get the Gazelle from the jump if I was planning on more than one.
We also have the Yoyo - which is amazing for flying or any kind of travel as it it folds up and you can carry it with a strap.
Something to note—measure any exterior or interior doors this stroller needs to fit through—we opted for an inline stroller vs a side-by-side when we needed a double because our stroller stays parked in the building’s bike room which has a narrow door and wouldn’t accommodate any side-by-side strollers.
9. Ergobaby. GET ONE. GET TWO! My husband and I each have one. Seriously, so great. You'll need to get the infant insert until baby weighs 12lbs—don't put them in there without it! Seriously this is the best, especially for NYC. My three-year old still requests to ride in it :)
10. Changing pad. We have two. Option one is nice and cheap and great, but if anything gets on it, you have to wash the cover. Option two is more expensive, but easily wipeable.
11. Playmat. Both our babies were on this thing for an hour+ a day until they were about 8-9 months. Good for tummy time and for looking around at things. It was an MVP for a good while.
12. Monitor. This one allows for multiple cameras (needed when we had another baby), and is a closed system, which I wanted.
13. Diaper bag. I like the backpack a lot, but also like a shoulder bag.
14. Crib. We inherited a crib,, but IKEA has nice ones, and the Babyletto one is nice too. The second time around we bought the famed SNOO, on sale. It was the MVP for sleep (7+ hours a night by three weeks) but also for peace of mind. The Snoo has had zero SIDS incidents, which is statistically significant. Seriously super highly recommend.
Notes:
I'd get pacis and teethers new, and carseat new, but check out anything else used, should be fine!
BABY CLOTHES
Spoiler, babies hate things going over their heads. So, try to get things that snap or zip up the front, rather than putting their heads through things. Also, until they can sit up, best to have things snap at the crotch as well, as shirts without snaps will ride way up. And my husband is a big fan of the sleepers that zip up down from the top—easier for diaper changes in the middle of the night—you only have to zip up halfway to change the diaper.
1. Snap onesies, long sleeve + short sleeve
2. Footed pajamas
3. Zutano booties—the only ones that have stayed on our babies’ feet.
4. A snowsuit sack
5. Sweatpants
6. Jackets/Sweatshirts
7. Get some socks to go under the booties, only for warmth
8. Swimsuit—make sure it's long sleeve—babies can't wear sunscreen until 6 months old.
9. Hats - warm for winter, sun shade for sun.
Brands I like:
For cheap/cute clothes (they are always having sales) - Carter's, Old Navy, Gap.
For super cute and not that expensive clothes - Zara Baby
For cute and expensive clothes (on sale, not so bad), where we got his wedding suit - Janie + Jack
For pajamas on the cheaper side - Target, especially their Cat + Jack in house brand. Also Old Navy!
Nicer pajamas: Hanna Anderson
Swimsuits: Hanna Anderson
Snowsuit/Bunting: Hanna Anderson this one is cute too.
Jackets: Patagonia
Cute style: Bash + Sass
Notes:
People love to give clothes! If you register for any, pick 6+ months because they do grow out of things super quick And be mindful of what season that will be. That being said, don't be left without any clothes for baby when they first come home!
FEEDING
1. Get a few bottles. our baby was not picky, but some babies are, so get a couple of a couple brands to see. Get low-flow nipples for newborns, you'll upgrade to fast flow in six months or so. We like Comotomo and the plain Medela ones. Again, even if you are breastfeeding, pump once a day and let your partner feed the baby. Do not stop doing this. If you don't feel like pumping once a day, give baby a bottle of formula once a day (we like Happy Baby Organics), because otherwise you will never be able to leave for more than a few hours at a time. Be mindful of your supply, obviously, but let baby drink out of a bottle!
2. High chair—you can wait on this, but we have the Stokke one, with the infant insert. I like that it sits right up to the table and eventually converts to a regular chair. We also have a Bumbo that our first loved and we used more than the high chair at first.
3. Bottle warmer—definitely not needed (you can warm up water and warm up the bottles) but we love ours, and use it every day. Also, if you're not breastfeeding, I've heard great things about this.
4. Baby spoons. Solid food sneaks up on you. We started early because our pediatrician recommended we do so—around 4.5 months.
5. Baby cups. Doctor recommends you stop bottles at one, so we have always given him a cup for water (only after 6 months, they don't drink water before then!). He loves this one, and it doesn't spill, you can turn it upside down and shake it.
Notes:
I felt SUPER responsible for both my babies food intake (because I was), it was a lot on me at times. Just something to think about if you are feeling anxious about how many ounces they are eating!
BATHTIME
1. Baby bath. We like this option, and this option. I bought seriously like seven tubs—sent one to each family house (CA, IL, FL), and tried a few out at home. So yeah. Consider this one researched. They need something smaller until they can sit unassisted, 6-7 months ish.
2. Baby washcloths. To wash, but also to keep baby warm in the very beginning—lay baby down and then wet the cloth in the bath and drape over baby. Don't be idiots like me and my husband and make the water "lukewarm" like the internet says. The water should be WARM. Otherwise baby will cry and be cold (like our first baby was for like a week).
3. Baby shampoo. Tear free and good for body and hair.
4. Scrubby - good for hair and body and it's antimicrobial. Mine both had cradle cap, so we scrubbed their little heads for several months. If your baby has it, Mustela has a great cradle cap shampoo.
5. Baby lotion. Babies lose a ton of moisture in the bath, so replenish after every bath. It's still his favorite time after bath.
Notes:
Bath was our babies’ FAVORITE, and their cue that it's about to be bedtime. It was also one of my favorite times of day!
DIAPERS +
1. Wipes. We like the scent free ones from Amazon
2. Diapers. Get a small pack in size N and size 1, see what size they are when they arrives! They will go through 10-12 a day in the beginning, just FYI!
3. Diaper rash cream - Aquaphor is a good one, and so is Destin.
4. Diaper pail. Self explanatory. Otherwise, yes, it is not a good scene.
5. Nail clippers. They arrive with long nails. And scratch themselves in the face. So. Yeah. These are great.
6. Baby Tylenol. This is awesome for when they have a fever and/or teething. They can't have Motrin until 6 months.
7. Nosefrida + baby saline drops. For colds and the like. Must.
8. Thermometer. We have this one and a more manual one. We use both.
9. Hand sanitizer. Have it on hand for visitors.
Notes:
Baby Detergent: we used some for six months, but I recently found out that the NICU uses TIDE, so now I'm not recommending special stuff! As long as it’s free and clear, it’s fine.
BEDTIME
1. Sound machine. This is a game changer. They still have this going every night. When they were little little and sleeping in the bassinet (or Snoo) next to the bed we had it going in our room, and it was nice.
2. Swaddles. Do not forget these. They are THE BIZ for sleeping babies under four months. We have A MILLION and they were all worth it.
3. Sleep sack. Once they get out of swaddles, you'll want a sleep sack to keep them warm, they both LOVE theirs, and still sleep in one at 18 months and 3 years, respectively. Bonus, this stops them from even thinking about climbing out of the crib.
4. Lovey—around 5/6 months we introduced our first to his bunny, and our second to her fox to sleep and now they both look for their loveys and grab them for sleep and it is the cutest thing. Helpful for sleep. Choose a stuffed animal or little blanket. We like the Jellycat brand for variety and availability—we have at least one backup at all times.
5. Crib sheets. We have about 6, and rotate them on both their beds.
Notes:
Make a routine ASAP. We do bottle, bath, lotion, pajamas, book, song, bed. We started this super early on and they go to bed like a dream every night. We read books from the jump!
BOOKS
1. The Happy Sleeper. Great great one. Super helpful. Also watch the YouTube video on the 5 S's by Harvey Karp. Excellent ones.
2. Baby Cookbook. Love this one, he's loved almost everything I've made him from here. Again, this comes quicker than you'd think!
Notes:
I read a bunch of books on sleep, and have tried a lot of things—our first was a 30-minute napper for SO LONG (after the four-month sleep regression), and it got way way way better, but it was tough for a long time. My friend Kara had a great daytime sleeper though, so it can totally vary. Just highlighting this because sleep can be a real bear.
Other things to think about:
If you're going to do any kind of daycare, they have wait lists and you need to tour and register etc. Just think about what you want to do here!
Is it tough? Then do it twice.
Originally written November 2015
I moved on Friday. The cast of characters included me, the man with the van (Felix) and Brett (because he's amazing). It took the three of us two hours, including travel time, to take my whole life from one borough to another. One of the brilliant side effects of so much upheaval this year has been the absolute clarity with which I view what's important and what's not. And things that fit firmly in the "not" category include most of my actual things. I am so clear that I am not my possessions. I'm down to 50 hangers, five books and one box of photos. It used to be that I would roll my eyes at people who claimed such relief, psychological or otherwise at deleting so much of their worldly goods. And yet. I now worship at the alter of KonMari and do not hesitate to take a pair of pants off my body and put them directly in the trash if I've decided that day was their last day out. Surprisingly the most "relief" came from tossing out boxes and boxes of old photos (and the negatives too) and all of my books. Dragging around relics from my past apparently cost more than I thought.
And as I moved my things to my new (lovely! amazing!) spot, I thought about a lesson I learned way back when I was just getting the hang of getting tossed in the air and flipping around --another cheer-life-lesson if you will. I remember how hard it was to GET a single back flip. Understanding your "air awareness" is a bit like balance, in that you must experience it rather than hear about it. There's something Sarte called "le passe sous silence" in reference to the second dimension of the body, wherein you pass beyond silence -- forgetting your plans, and come into just being. It's that glorious state of flow, of being aware of your body, but not tied so tightly to it.
And although I performed the single back flip in the air well, it wasn't until I was asked to do a double before I REALLY got how to do the single. All of the sudden one was ease. One was grace. One was the easiest thing I'd ever done. And that lesson has stuck with me. Once I have proficiency in something, if I turn up the dial it usually works. Like, if one mile is hard to run, run two. If one pie crust is tricky, roll out six. And back to my move last week as I was marveling a bit at how it easy it was this go round, I remembered that I've moved four times this year.
If it's tough, do it twice (or four times?)
Or maybe just throw out all your books.
You're Never Going to Be Ready
Originally written 12/01/2015
I said goodbye to my little dog this last weekend. He and I have been together almost every single day for the last 8+ years, commuting to work - him sleeping in his tiny bed on my desk - and me tapping away on a computer. He's been on set with me, at the beach with me, at dinner parties with me, at bars and Broadway shows with me. He's been an ever present eight-and-a-half-pound shadow to my life, usually never more than a few feet away from me. He's charmed every boss + co-worker that's come across his snaggletoothed face, and made countless friends in the process.
And the lessons he's taught me are so many. About commitment, about devotion, about big love, and maybe the biggest lesson that he continues to teach me is that you're never going to be ready. I wasn't ready for a dog when I ended up with this sweet little tan-and-white Chihuahua, whom I took on because the friend who had him went into a rehab facility and he (Spanky the dog) had nowhere else to go. I lived in an apartment that didn't allow dogs at the time, and so I moved because I had fallen in love with his miniature face and velvet ears. Our first studio apartment's address was 808 3/4, which was an appropriate approximation of how much of an adult I felt at the time.
I wasn't ready to shoulder the responsibility of having a dog in the city when I moved to New York shortly thereafter, and yet, we made it work. I wasn't ready to handle the countless walks, vet appointments, late-night-sick-as-a-dog moments, but I did it anyway. And through all of it, he maintained his beacon of love for me, his borderline obsession with me, his big epic love for me.
And last weekend as I said goodbye to him, I wasn't ready, again. Not ready to say goodbye. Not ready to hold his tiny little body one last time, not ready to kiss his face and tell him what a good boy he was. So, so, so not ready. And yet. I did it anyway. Because it was time. Because that is the price of admission for love.
And I'm reminded now, that the majority of the time, you won't be ready for the big (and small) moments in your life. And you should do it anyway.
Yours in giant eyes and heart-shaped noses,
Bryce
P.S. I've been loving the stories people have been sharing about Spanky and/or their own pups. If you've got one, I'd love to hear it.
Seasons, Burners, Juggling with Glass
Reframes can change your life. Here’s three that I use when I’m feeling stuck, when I’m trying to prioritize, or just generally feeling overwhelmed.
Everything is a season
When I think about the details of my life at this very moment - the hum of unease about COVID-19 and how I have no idea how/when life will “return” to anything like it was before, or what it will morph into, for that matter. How my life is about a 10 on a 1-10 scale of unstructured to structured right now - meted out in 30 minute chunks from the moment I hear a “MAMA” at 6AM to the ritual of closing the blinds every night at 10PM -- a churn of caregiving and video calls an indistinguishable blur of days running into each other. When I think about this, it’s easy for me to despair a bit, to flounder in “is this it? Is this my life FOREVER?” And then I remind myself, this is a season. Change is the only constant. This too, will shift. This season of rigidity and uncertainty will give way - bit by bit or all at once, but it will happen. When I think about this moment in time as a season it allows me to lean into it more. To hold moments of brightness close and marvel about the set of circumstances that led me here. To delight in toddler costumes at 630AM and to notice the patterns of moonlight on the wall when my baby wakes up at 2AM. Knowing it will change gives me perspective and a foothold into gratitude for this season.
Four Burners Theory
When I feel extra busy, I think about this idea - that your life is like a stovetop - you’ve got four burners to cook with, but you can’t focus on all of them at once - some need to be simmering in the back while you are actively boiling another. This is where prep and planning are key. Knowing the rough plan of when things need active vs passive attention gives me a sense of competency. If I know that the next few weeks of work will be bananas, I can turn the flame up on the work burner, and down on everything else - knowing I can press pause on other commitments for a bit until work isn’t so slammed. Similarly, just looking ahead in my calendar and knowing my kids have a stretch of doctors appointments or school functions, lets me prioritize accordingly.
Juggling Glass and Plastic Balls
This one comes from the writer Nora Roberts - and it’s about thinking about every single task and commitment you’re making and knowing on a daily basis, which of these tasks is like a glass ball and which one is plastic. If you’re juggling all of these balls and you happen to drop a plastic ball- it bounces - no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, however, it shatters. This acts a great prioritizer for me when I start labeling all of my tasks as must-dos, and the stress that comes along with not finishing all of them.
Poison Control
Tl;DR Poison control operators are very nice.
I had to call poison control because Henry (age 2ish) stuffed 20 (?) Advil into his mouth. I had given him the bottle - the CHILDPROOF bottle - because he liked to shake it, and I was changing my littlest one who was a tiny baby at the time. I turned around for 10 seconds? 15 seconds? And turned back to find rivulets of Advil juice leaking down his chin. He smiled at me and revealed a mouth full of Advil tablets. Of course I freaked the hell out and dug my finger in his mouth and fished them all out, scaring him. Called Poison Control and they kept asking me questions like how many total were in the bottle? (IDK) How many did he eat and I was like none, I think?????? Finally we settled on signs of trouble to look for - i.e. barfing or lethargy.
Moral of the story: he was fine. I was not. He never gets to play with pharmaceuticals anymore. Poison control is very nice.
What is a Prop Stylist
What is a Prop Stylist?
Prop styling is big-picture vision paired with precise execution. It’s the art of arranging an engaging composition paired with the precision of clocking every single detail, down to noticing—and removing—finger-print smudges on the surface of a spoon. Much like an architect can see a fully-formed house as they walk through studs set in concrete, I can see the finished image, down to the single flower petal that’s fallen off the stem, all before anything has been put in front of the camera.
Prop styling pulls from a variety of skills, making it a perfect match for a polymath. It’s flower arranging and set-building, it’s ironing linens and hanging picture frames, it’s both waiting for that perfect light, and sometimes manufacturing that perfect light. It’s a little bit of art direction, a little bit of production, and a whole lot of fun.
How did you even get into this super niche gig?
I started a job as a Prop Stylist before I even knew what the term was. I had met with Amanda Hesser of Food52 , who was looking for someone to start merchandising and sourcing products for the yet-to-be-launched shop. Clearly out of my league, I called up my friend Phoebe Lapine, author/blogger/food photographer and she invited me over and helped me make an attempt at styling a broiled grapefruit breakfast.
I had no idea what to pair the grapefruit with. And for that matter, what plate should I use? On what table? And what else should I put in the shot? Flowers? Sugar? Coffee? It was WAY harder than it looked. Fortunately, Amanda saw something in my efforts and chose to take me on, even though I would never (ever) style something on that kind of table again.
^^ Here it is, in all its glory. Sugar and salt? Sure, why not. Coffee with no cream? Yep. Super busy table background? No take-backs now!.
A day in the life of a Prop Stylist
Prepping
Prep work for styling, much like prep work for cooking, is key to pulling off something fantastic. The more detail you can cram into your prep, the easier life is on shoot day. So let’s say I’m prepping for an iced coffee shoot. The first thing I do is create a mood board of the general vibe—yes, the vibe!—we’re going for. Is it cheery pastels, mason jars and gingham linens? Or is it marquis cocktail glasses that cast cutting shadows and metal straws, contrasted with hot pink hibiscus donuts? I generally use Pinterest, which allows boards to be both secret and collaborative. This is the place where I add everyone who has a stake in the shoot. This includes the photographer, any other stylists involved, and of course, the client.
Once everyone is aligned on the vibe of the shoot, I can start making my spreadsheet. This holds all the information for the shoot, from the number of shots per day we’re trying to get, to the image size ratios and, of course, the prop list for each shot. The more detail, the better. Spreadsheets are great for this because it’s easy to move shots around in the timeline to group them together for the sake of efficiency.
The last thing I make is a call sheet. The most important thing to have in the call sheet is everyone’s name and phone number along with the times people are supposed to arrive, and the time you’ll wrap the shoot.
The call sheet, the shot spreadsheet, and the top 10 mood board shots all get printed out and brought to the shoot to keep everyone on track.
Shopping
Possibly the most fun—and also most stressful—part is the shopping. The industry lingo for this kind of blitzkrieg buying is “sourcing,” a title fitting of the professional act of finding just the right item. Also, this means sometimes I “source” things from my chock-a-block credenza that holds a startling amount of dessert plates, vintage coupe glasses, flower frogs and cake stands. When shoot shopping, “options” are your insurance plan. Objects can and will look different through the lens of the camera. What if that glass that was PERFECT turns out to be too “cold” or “simple” or “complex” for the shot. What if it ends up being a smidge too tall or too wide and it overtakes the star of the shot? Fear not because; options! AKA the other 3 to 4 (to 5) sets of backup glasses I always have on hand. Over time my instincts for the “right” option have gotten better and better, and as I’ve had the luxury of working with the same team over and over, so I know their tastes as well as my own. Generally, I aim to have at least 3 options for each item, and when in doubt I bring more.
Schlepping
After the shopping comes the schlepping. And man oh man there is always so much to carry! During the halcyon days of styling at Food52, you’d find me schlepping a surfboard on the subway at 7 in the morning, and carrying huge parcels of eucalyptus plants back home with me in the evening. All in the name of getting the shot. In styling, more is more. The bigger the shoot, the bigger the haul. For most shoots, an SUV or larger car is all I need, although for interior shoots, it’s not a bad idea to have a UHaul on speed dial. Given all that, sometimes it feels like I’m moonlighting as a small moving company when I’m getting ready for a shoot.
Things that come in handy for this part include:
Packing blankets - anything soft but sturdy (no slippery silks or delicate cashmere)
Bubble wrap - bigger bubbles are best for protecting against impact, smaller bubbles are best for protecting against scratches
Packing tape - for taping that bubble wrap on
Sturdy canvas bags - I like tote shapes vs zip ups for odd sizes
Cardboard boxes - In case you really need to pack and stack
Another set of arms - I’ve roped in neighbors, friends, various assistants to help here
Magic aka Shoot Day
My motto for shoot days is lifted directly from Gustave Flaubert’s quote:
“Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.”
This means that I try to nail down every single thing that I can plan for, from prop options to lunch menus, parking spot intel for my crew and having playlists ready to go on my portable speakers. That way the team is free to create and make magic and not worry about logistics.
By the time the crew arrives, I have all the props and surfaces laid out by category, and all the mood board images taped up in a highly visible place. Then I can walk everyone through the imagery and props, noting what people are drawn to, and taking notes if there’s anything to remember about each photo when it’s time to shoot.
As far as timing goes, I always have one eye on the clock and one on the shot list—knowing that the second half of the day tends to run smoother and faster as the team starts to move in sync.
A big part of the day of, is organization. I carefully track all tags, stickers, packaging and bags, because everything purchased needs to be returned in excellent condition.
I also keep track of the shots we’ve completed, crossing out the ones that are done, and writing in extra ones that get taken.
A Note About My Toolkit
My toolkit shifts depending on what it is we’re shooting (food vs jewelry vs home goods), but it always includes the following:
Windex - for making sure glass stays smudge and streak proof
Goo Gone - for removing sticker residue
Sticky putty- for getting items to stay put
Cotton gloves - for handling shiny objects
Spray bottle - for condensation and/or ironing purposes
An iron - for linens and clothes
Salt - for beers than need to be foamier
Straws - for artful moving spice dust around
Paper towels - for cleaning up messes
Reusable cloths - for cleaning up items
T-pins and painters tape- for hanging up images and shot lists
Double sided tape - to get something to lie flat or stay put
Clamps - very multipurpose - for pinning back clothes or holding up art
Phillips and flathead screwdrivers, plus an Allen wrench - for putting things together, or taking them apart
Bottles of water - for everyone
Wrapping Up
All good things must come to an end. And shoots are no exception. Wrapping up is much like setting up, but in reverse. I make sure everything is cleaned, packaged up, and ready to return if necessary. I make sure we leave the studio tidy and clean, and that trash is taken out of the building, along with everything we brought in that morning. Always triple check for phone chargers, cardigans, and anything else that tends to get left behind.
Once back at my computer I send a cleaned up shot list to the photographer, noting any extra shots that got taken, or notes from the client, along with a reminder of promised deadlines.
Finally I send thank you notes to the whole team! Usually I send emails, but if it’s been a long or tough shoot, I go for handwritten notes.
In Conclusion
One of my favorite types of tension is that between strategy and execution. There’s nothing more exhilarating than having a big beautiful creative vision AND being able to execute it. This is what prop styling does. It brings the micro alongside the macro and allows me to flex between them. Plus, it brings me an unreasonable amount of joy to find just the right object to tell a story through, whether that is a handmade Japanese pinwheel atop a birthday cake, a Triumph motorcycle with a sidecar loaded with presents, or the simple beauty of a purple mason jar.
Mama Bear 7.27.20
Our nanny came home with the two kids this morning, both of them hollering, while she was uncharacteristically flustered coming through the door. Henry is worked up, doesn't want to wash his hands, Rose is just upset.
Come to find out they got hustled home because the group of kids Henry has been palling around with in the park these days (nothing inside like the library is open, and nothing sanctioned like the playground is either) decided to play "bad guy." From what I gather from toddler-speak, and the nanny’s explanation, the kids (Henry included) - Henry being one of the youngest, the others mostly clocking in around 4-5 - decided that he, Henry, would be the "bad guy" and try to tear down the imaginary tree house, while the other kids, not-so-imaginary-ly whaled on him, hitting and pushing him.
The nanny, normally unflappable, was so upset and had given the other nannies in the park the what-for, yelling at them that their boy/s was hitting her boy and they weren't paying close enough attention. She said it was like bullying and she put her foot down that there would be NO MORE of that game.
Henry, on the other hand, seemed to be unfazed as I Hydrogen Peroxided his arm, dabbed it with Neosporin and covered his scratches with a bandage. He loudly yelled that he was THE BAD GUY and he was tearing down the tree house. When I told him I was coming to the park myself tomorrow (with my switchblade) he clasped his hands together and said in one breath, EXCITING, and FIGHT AGAIN.
Trying to measure and match my responses to how he feels about the situation, but also put a stop to any bad behavior, especially the kind that rattles my experienced and very capable nanny.
My own reaction? Bloodlust. And a painfully tender feeling that I cannot expect to protect my babies all the time. And a reminder of how little he still is. And how I'd like to take a bat to the whole piñata of children at the park who dare make sport of my baby. And maybe a teensy bit of pride at the stubborn fierceness in my boy.